The unlovely ES magazine - home to lengthy features about the sons and daughters of people who used to be famous, and purveyor of the world's most baffling standfirsts - published an oustanding interview with the bonkers Heather Mills on Friday. My old pal Hermione Eyre did the work. It was so funny, coffee came out of my nose.
I particularly enjoyed this:
Heather fancies herself a plain talker, no airs, definitely no graces. There's a sign in her loo that says: 'If any items apart from toilet paper get dropped in here, the bog monster will reach out and grab your dick or punani!' 'You need to be real,' she says, enlarging on why she has never had trouble attracting men. 'Down-to-earth, not fussy, not pretentious. I'll carry boxes, I'll clean toilets. I peeled 260 potatoes the other Sunday. That's why my nails are gone.'
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